| a decade under the influence |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|06:47 am] |
Eh. I'm in one of those... weird moods I get in when something seems amiss, but I can't put my finger on what it is, or something bad's gonna happen and I haven't figured out what it is yet.
So I pondered on that for about an hour earlier, and decided to give Nick a call because he's having some trouble deciding if college is even for him at all. He was stressed due to a lot of different things, and at one point in our conversation, he had to hang up on me so he could talk to Kiley, his best friend, since she was freaking out about some stuff. So, when I call back, he says,
Him: "Hey, I'm going over to Sarah's to go talk to Kiley."
Me: "Wait, why? Are things really that bad?"
Him: "She's just freaking out so... I dunno. I'm gonna go talk to her."
So, I guess something just came upon me and I asked him if he was sure that he didn't want to be with her, which he assured me he didn't want to be at all, and long story short, he told me he was very stressed and didn't wanna deal with me at that moment, and told me to call him tomorrow. That's Nick's way of saying, "You've pissed me off. Leave me alone."
So I left him a comment on his MySpace and I hope that he understands how much I love him and need him.
You guys have to understand. Typically, I wouldn't go for someone like Nick, because he's basically a straight-edge kid who hates drugs. I, on the other hand, normally, would drink, smoke, and fuck almost every day. I mean, it used to be that I'd have sex a LOT and get high with my stoner buddies a LOT more than I would have sex, which, when I was with Billy, was a shitload. But, there's something about Nick. He makes me want to be a better person. I haven't smoked pot in like a month an a half, because the last time was when I was dating Collin, and I'm quitting smoking in August, before he comes here. I know that everyone says I shouldn't quit drugs for anyone but myself, but it's weird. I feel comfortable quitting for Nick because I want to be a better person for him. I've never felt that before, with anyone. That's why I feel like this is absolutely pure and true, instead of him just being some asshole that either fucks me over or I just can't stand.
But, that's all beside the point. My day today was okay, but very boring. My crowning achievement was that I put 20 new songs on my iPod in a new playlist and got some tanning in. I feel like I've become a couch potato, which isn't helped by the fact that I have no car and all of my friends have moved, are out of town, or are sick.
:/
Although, my mom was basically She Hulk today. She went to Ilene's house for her birthday and brought all this shit with her, and Valerie a little later called and told us that some chick challenged my mom to a fight in the kiddie pool and my mom wrestled the woman down and won by holding her head underwater for 2 minutes. I was like, "Well, shit. Go Mom."
I just found out, as well, that we're not going to the beach tomorrow, as originally planned. Instead we're going for a picnic at Maymount, which, seriously, is a lot less exciting.
Fuuuck. I hope Monday night is fun. It's all I really have to look forward to at the moment. And Warped, if Chelsea's feeling up to it, WHICH I PRAY TO MY SWEET LORD SHE IS. That will totally BLOW if I just spent $45 on my ticket and she says, "Hey man. I feel like shit. Let's not go see the best Warped that's ever come to VA Beach."
Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed because I have "a big day tomorrow."
I swear to God, if we don't go to Rue 21 and pick up my aviators tomorrow, I WILL flip shit.
Ugh.
Night. |
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